Jodie Andrews. Wanderlust photographer.

contact@jodieandrews.co.uk

Born and raised in Hertfordshire just outside London. I graduated from university a year ago so now have a photography degree which isn't coming in very handy. I'm expecting a baby and as much as this was a shock, I'm completely happy. Always loved photography. Always loved travel and documenting life. Given up a little on photography,but instead I'll document my ever so ordinary life through ordinary photos.

All Photos on this blog are copyright to me unless stated otherwise


13.11.13

I can honestly say there’s nothing more amazing than feeling your little one kicking and wriggling around inside your tummy. I’m definitely going to miss it after giving birth. It’s such a pleasant  reminder that you’re bringing life into the world and that you are in fact already a mother. The more I feel her kick the more i understand how people say you bond with your baby before they’re even born. 

I have been easing off my antidepressants the past month and it’s been so difficult. I stopped my anxiety pills the minute I found out I was pregnant as I did some research and they recommend you don’t take them whilst expecting. That was hard enough. But I thought I was ready to come off my antidepressants so with consent from my doctor I bought myself down from 150mg to 50mg. But I’m having to go up to 100mg again as I definitely was not ready. It’s been tough but I’m a lot better on the pills than off them. So that kinda rules out breast feeding now! 

I’m not very open about my ‘mental health’ issues. and I hate even saying those words. But if I’m going to carry on doing this lil blog then I want to be as open as I can and just write til my hearts content because even if nothing makes sense and no-one ever reads this blog it just really helps letting everything out. Having severe anxiety and moderately severe depression is hard enough whilst not being pregnant. But with close family and a wonderful boyfriend I definitely consider myself lucky. They help me every single day and put up with my horrible mood swings and I never show them how thankful I am. I’m not a very expressive person when it comes to family. and recently I’ve been such a horrible person. But I’m incredibly grateful and lucky to have all this support around me. and I know little Daisy is going to bought into the world surrounded by so much love! 

My Andrew. I love himmm,

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8.11.13

We went for another scan today and so she decided to sit with her legs crossed so we couldn’t confirm the gender. We were told girl at the last scan, and the woman this time said she saw no boy bits and would say 85% girl. So we’ll go with that for now. We heard the heartbeat for the first time today, which felt amazing. and all that really matters is that everything is well and she’s healthy :) :) 

00:04

Up at midnight when usually I’d be fast asleep. Up eating lemon sorbet and feeling you roll around inside my stomach like a miniature acrobat. It’s strange when I stop and think about you. Your little heart beating flutters just a few inches away from mine. I get scared every day that I’m doing something wrong, or that I’ll mess this up some how. I’ll feel little cramps of pain in my stomach and worry. but then I feel your little kicks and I just want to squeal with joy. I’m counting down the days until the next scan (Friday - 3 days away) so we can confirm you are in fact a little girl. Things are slowly coming together and each day you grow I grow a little more inspired to do the things I love again. I miss taking photographs. but I think I’ll go out soon and take some. right now i’m sleepy. sleeep.

3.11.13

Getting bigger by the day. Feeling more tired and getting a little hormonal. Little things make me want to cry but I just remind myself it’s pregnancy playing tricks on me. I feel the little one move about in my stomach on a daily basis now and it’s such a magical feeling. Had a little look at push chairs the other day and everything is beginning to feel that little bit more real. I have days where I’m so excited but then days where I’m completely and utterly scared and have to ask myself what am I doing and can I even do this. But I guess that’s a part of first time pregnancy. I can’t believe it’s november already. 

1.11.13

This time last year I started writing a book. I gave up after getting almost halfway through. I’m not sure why. But I’ve always loved writing and reading and literature and just words in general. I wish I wrote more and sometimes I wish I wrote better but at the end of the day It always feels extremely satisfying to sit down and write whatever comes to mind. Wether it makes sense or not. I guess I just care a bit too much about what people think of me and sometimes I’ll write and start imagining people reading what I’m typing and it stops me completely. 

But it’s been a heck of a year and this past month I’ve been surrounded by people. People being happy about my news, people disapproving. and people wanting ‘whats best for me’. But I’m sick of being pulled in every possible direction. I’ve never been more surrounded by love and by people but I feel so lonely and lost and torn and overwhelmed and everything in between. My body aches. my mind aches. my heart aches. and i just don’t need this. i don’t know what i need. but I know I have a tiny little girl growing inside my tummy. my daughter. and she is my number one now. no-one else and nothing can dictate what I feel is best for us. All my life - literally - I’ve been pushed around by people, put down, and walked all over. but i’m completely sick of it. From now on I’m calling the shots. if nobody likes it they know where the door is. I’m tired of feeling like i don’t matter and i’m tired of feeling like i’m crazy. i’m tired. i’m excited.

Girl <3

I showed an elderly gentleman at work a photo of you in my tummy today. He pointed out how amazing it is when you realise this little growing human being is a part of me, you’re attached and if it wasn’t down to me there would be no bringing you into the world. He called you Daisy for now and he’s just one of many excited to meet you. It’s autumn outside of your little world inside my tummy. it’s autumn and this time next year you’ll be here to see the falling leaves dancing patterns of warm auburn colours. It’s getting chilly though, and I’m not one for the cold. I wrap up warm and I hold my tiny little bump protecting you from invisible dangers. I’m feeling slightly protective already. And when I have a bad day and feel as though the world is against me, I curl up in bed and remember you’re little beating heart and your tiny moving hands. I remember that right now you’re the size of a sweet potato and in just a weeks time you’ll grow to be the size of a mango. I remember that one day I’ll meet you and we’ll share an unconditional love. I remember these things and suddenly the world isn’t so bad anymore.

I haven’t felt you kick yet but I’ve felt you wriggling around. Little flutters like tiny butterflies dancing circles inside my tummy. We’re dreaming up names for you and planning how you’re going to be bought into the world. I’m still shocked every single day that you’re there and this is happening. I never planned for you, but that doesn’t matter anymore.. it’s the greatest surprise I’ll ever experienced. I’ve always felt that I am a little selfish, but now you are growing a little every day, I feel I am growing as a human too. I stop and pause before I open my mouth and I breathe a little bit whilst taking a step back when things and people get too much.

One day soon you’ll meet your mummy and daddy but for now I’m enjoying feeling you bloom into a beautiful little human ready to enter the world.  

Little bump

So, my little bump decided to pop out this weekend, I can’t believe how fast it’s growing. I’m having pains in my stomach and am still getting really horrible headaches but I’m just coping with it all as it comes and trying my best not to complain. It could be a lot worse - I’m lucky I’m not getting much morning sickness! Since becoming pregnant I feel bad buying anything for myself and when I’m feeling down I like my retail therapy - I’ve already book marked so many clothes and accessories to buy when we find out baby’s gender! (hopefully wednesday).

It’s so weird that in five months time I’ll officially be a mum and have my own little family.image

Preparing

I keep saying ‘he’ instead of she or it and I really feel like I’m going to have a baby boy! To be honest I’m not fussed if I have a boy or girl as long as they are healthy. People have been buying neutral baby gifts already, he/she is being spoilt from inside my tummy. I’ve been suffering with a few headaches recently that have been so bad they’ve made me sick but I have a scan on wednesday so I’m excited - will all worth it in the end! I’m hoping they’ll tell us the gender! 

We’ve decided after the scan we’ll start getting properly organised, I think it will all feel real then. My tiny little bump grows a little more each night and I feel ‘quickenings’ like tiny butterflies inside my stomach. I’m happy knowing he or she is growing more and more each day. Exciting! 

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